It was a dusty old night
and I'm the first to admit it
I'm sure I upset someone
But my memory has chosen to omit it

A tiny voice was telling me
I should cool it
Chewing my face off
talking absolute rubbish

The first line hit me like a kick in the face
Thought I better have another one just in case
Next thing I knew my heart was under attack
Bought a one way ticket to hell..

Refrain:
And Back!
One Way Ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back

I'm always trying to keep my vices under wraps
But a coach load of mutes would appear talkative chaps
They seemed fit to join me for a couple of hits
But my septum is in tatters
And I've still got the runs

Burn for a moment then you kick like a mule
Strangers are agreeing that it was rocket fuel
Several massive chocking lines of glorious gak
Bought a one way ticket to hell...

Refrain


Stick it up your f*cking nose! Woohoo!

Holy coke, repeating myself, except I'm getting slightly louder
Pausing long enough to snort that white powder
Wheels steering off but I'm still on track
Bought a one way ticket to hell

Refrain

One way ticket to hell and back(woo!)
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back
One way ticket to hell and back,
Bought a one way ticket to hell...